Stress Management Readings: Dalai Lama
Reproduced with permission from "365 Dalai Lama", His Holiness The Dalai Lama, HarperCollins Publishers Ltd., London, 2004 and Office of Tibet, Tibet House, London.
Some young people start off in life without really knowing what they want. They take up a job, find they don't like it, leave it, start another, leave that, and end up dropping everything and thinking there is nothing that can inspire them.
If this applies to you, you should realize that life is never easy. Do not expect that everything will suddenly work for you and that all your problems will miraculously go away.
The profound pleasure that we gain from looking at a painting or listening to music shows how important it is for human beings to have inner satisfaction rather than the gross pleasures of the senses or the possession of material goods.
Nevertheless, even aesthetic satisfaction depends largely on vision and hearing, so it can only yield temporary well-being and this is not so fundamentally different from the satisfaction produced by drugs. When we leave the museum or the concert hall, our aesthetic pleasure is over and is replaced by the desire to experience it again. It never brings true inner happiness.
Inner contentment is the main thing. Do not give up your basic needs; we all have the right to the basic minimum. We need it to live and we should make sure we have it. … we should not fall into extreme attitudes. If we are never satisfied inside and are always looking for more, we won't be happy and will always feel there is something lacking.
Men and women are, of course, physically different and this entails a number of differences on the emotional level … Men are more able to do heavy work; women seem more efficient at tasks which require clear and quick thinking. Men and women are usually equals in areas where reflection plays a key role.
From the moment you get married, there are two of you. Even when we are alone, the thoughts we have in the evening might be the opposite of the thoughts we had in the morning. Needless to say, when two people are involved, differences of opinion can crop up at any time. If one partner or another is only interested in his or her own ideas and does not take the others views into account, the couple is dysfunctional.
These days, there are many medical advances. But our attitude of mind continues to play a crucial role in both prevention and cure. This is quite clear.
The body and mind are closely connected, and each influences the other. That is why you should never lose hope, however seriously sick you may be. Tell yourself that there is always a remedy and that you have a chance of recovering.
The best medicine is prevention. This is linked to diet and habitual behaviour. Many people abuse alcohol and tobacco. For a slight and fleeting pleasure from the taste and the power of these substances, they ruin their health. Others make themselves ill by overeating. I know Buddhist practitioners who do retreats and remain in good health as long as they stay in the mountain hermitage. But as soon as they go down and visit their families or friends, for New Year or other festivals, they can no longer control their appetite and fall sick. [Laughs.]
Whatever your situation, remember that worrying is pointless; it only adds to the suffering you already have. I often cite a very useful expression by the Indian sage Shantideva, who basically said this: If there is a solution, what is the point in being anxious? Be content to apply it. And if there is no solution, what is the point in being anxious? Anxiety will only make your suffering worse.
We should distinguish clearly between true love and sexual, attachment. The former, ideally, expects nothing in return and does not depend on circumstance. The latter can only change according to events and emotions.